Love: The Truest Measure of Who We Are

Blog by Alan Fadling

What if love, rather than success, status, or achievement, was the truest measure of who God really made us? What if our worth was determined not by our accomplishments but by how we love and allow ourselves to be loved by God and others?

Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk and contemplative writer, saw love as the essence of reality. In New Seeds of Contemplation he writes:

“Because God’s love is in me, it can come to you from a different and special direction that would be closed if He did not live in me, and because His love is in you, it can come to me from a quarter from which it would not otherwise come. And because it is in both of us, God has greater glory.” (p. 67)

Merton’s words paint a beautiful vision of love as something uniquely expressed in and through each of us. Divine love is not static or confined—it acts, it flows, it multiplies. The love of God in me touches you in a way that no one else can replicate, just as the love of God in you reaches me in a way nothing else could. There is something beautiful in the way each of us contributes a distinct thread to the great tapestry of God’s love.

Love That Flows, Love That Multiplies

 I love the idea that God’s love flows into and through each of us like a river. The image of a river runs through the whole of the Bible. God’s love doesn’t trickle through a single, narrow channel; it spreads, branching out in ways we may never fully see. It reaches unexpected places, refreshes weary souls, and brings life wherever it flows.

But this raises an important question: Are we willing to open ourselves to God’s love? Do we let it shape our words, our actions, our thoughts? Or do we resist, clinging instead to control, self-sufficiency, or the illusion of status (or lack thereof)?

Merton reminds us that love is what makes us real. It’s not our accomplishments or accolades that define us—it’s the way love moves through us, the way we give and receive it. The more we allow love to flow freely, the more we reflect the heart of God.

The Freedom of Love That Doesn’t Keep Score

 True love does not measure, count, or demand recognition. It simply flows. And as it does, it transforms—not just those who receive it but those who give it. In love’s expansion, there is freedom. In love’s movement, there is joy.

So perhaps the greatest invitation is not to strive harder or achieve more, but to surrender to love—to let it move us, to let it shape us, to let it multiply in and through us. For in love, we become most fully ourselves. In love, we become real.

For Reflection:

• Where in your life do you see love flowing most naturally? How can you open yourself to its movement even more?
• Are there areas where you resist love—either in receiving or giving? What might it look like to surrender to love’s flow?
• How does it change your perspective to see love—not achievement—as the measure of your life’s impact?