Blog by Gem Fadling

As I was scrolling through my 2024 journal looking for inspiration on what I might share with you today, I realized that I'd been journaling about contentment for most of the year. Contentment has shown up in my praying and processing with God and in my conversations with my spiritual director, and it is an ongoing process that I am still working on.

Something within me is consistently not at ease with who I am, what I am, or where I am. If you're familiar with the Enneagram, you may know that Types One, Four, and Seven are in a triad called “The Frustrated Idealists.” Of course, each type has a different reason for being frustrated and a different view of what the ideal would be, but the term still applies to all three.

When I first heard the term Frustrated Idealist, I felt an internal yell: “That's me!” It described an undercurrent that I feel most of the time as it hums along just beneath the surface.

I appear to have an unspoken sensation that my situation should be different from what it is. Like antennae, my Frustrated Idealist is always reaching out for that unreachable thing that will propel me into satisfaction.

But the thing about the adage “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” is that there are always more fences and more yards to compare myself with.

As I perused through my journal, I noticed that my contentment processing has followed me all the way up to the present. And this is not the first year I've spent working on this dynamic within myself. But this past year I have made some significant movement forward. I consider this to be pure grace—a gift from God who is patient as he trains my heart toward the contentment I desire.

Today I'm going to share a little bit from insights I gained from Brian Zahnd’s book The Wood Between the Worlds.

In a chapter titled “One Ring to Rule Them All,” Zahnd talks about J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings and connects it to the power and control of the religious and political leaders at the time of the crucifixion. Ultimately, it is an invitation not to grasp for the one ring of power.

There were a few lines he shared from Tolkien’s book that pierced my heart. The ring of power shows up for me these days as a search to be more than I am, to be larger than the small, routine life I lead. Discontent certainly is the engine behind that reach.

The ring of power turned Saruman into a cruel monster. Gandalf and Galadriel knew this, and they chose not to touch it and become seduced by its whims. In Zahnd’s book he recounts these conversations. Here’s what they had to say:

Gandalf: 

“No!” cried Gandalf, springing to his feet. “With that power I should have power too great and terrible. And over me the ring would gain a power still greater and more deadly. … Do not tempt me! I dare not take it, not even to keep it safe, unused. The wish to wield it would be too great for my strength.”[i]

Galadriel: 

“And now at last it comes. You will give me the ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! ... All shall love me and despair!”

She stood before Frodo seeming now tall beyond measurement, and beautiful beyond enduring, terrible and worshipful. Then she let her hand fall, and the light faded, and suddenly she laughed again, and lo! she was shrunken: a slender elf-woman, clad in simple white, whose gentle voice was soft and sad. “I pass the test,” she said. “I will diminish, and go into the west, and remain Galadriel.”[ii]

Gandalf and Galadriel remained pure by resisting the ring. They said no to it and therefore it had no power over them.

Samwise Gamgee, however, took another route (or was gifted this route from within). He was simply so content with his simple life that the ring inherently had no power over him. This is the posture I desire. I want to be so content that the temptation doesn’t even reach me.

Samwise:

In that hour of trial it was the love of his master that helped him most to hold him firm; but also deep down in him lived still unconquered his plain Hobbit-sense: he knew in the core of his heart that he was not large enough to bear such a burden, even if such visions were not a mere cheat to betray him. The one small garden of a free gardener was all his need and due, not a garden swollen to a realm; his own hands to use, not the hands of others to command.[iii]

Zahnd goes on to say, “That Samwise Gamgee was content with his garden and didn't lust after an empire is what saved him from the lure of the Ring, and it's what makes him the true hero of The Lord of the Rings.”[iv]

Samwise had the good sense to know that the battle over power wasn’t even his to try on. He was “not large enough to bear such a burden.” This is true of me as well. My one small garden of a life is enough. I don’t need “a garden swollen to a realm.”

We weren’t created to withstand the pressures of the planet. Even though we can see and know what’s happening worldwide, our souls and hearts cannot bear up under the weight.

Our invitation is to love our neighbor—the ones we can see and touch. Our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls can, in fact, care for those around us. Planet-wide care is not ours to bear.

So this is my prayer: God, may my heart become more humble and my mind put at ease. I need not grasp for power or prestige, fame or fortune, or anything larger than what and who you’ve made me. Power and fame are cruel masters that torment the mind and body. May I become more and more content with what I have and who I am. Thank you for your care and help.

For Reflection: 

1. What is it you are reaching for that moves you into discontent?
2. If you achieved the thing about which you are discontented, what value would it add to your life?
3. Bring your own heartfelt prayer to God, asking God to grant you contentment.

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[i] J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring, part 1 of The Lord of the Rings (Houghton Mifflin, 2002), 60.

[ii] Tolkien, Fellowship of the Ring, 368.

[iii] J. R. R. Tolkien, The Return of the King, part 3 of The Lord of the Rings (Houghton Mifflin, 2002), 911.

[iv] Brian Zahnd, The Wood Between the Worlds (InterVarsity Press, 2024), 96.