Beyond Numbing: Identifying Counterfeit Rest in Our Lives

Blog by Alan Fadling

Discerning what is true rest and what is counterfeit rest isn’t one-size-fits-all, because what is truly restful for one person might not be so restful for another. For example, working in the yard is often a life-giving and refreshing activity for me, even if it is a little physically draining. But for someone else, yard work may just be one chore on a long list of other tasks needing attention around the house. Not restful!

Let me take a minute to share some examples of counterfeit rest that I’ve noticed in my own experience and in the lives of others.

First, anything that leads toward numbing tends to be a counterfeit form of rest. I’m a big fan of numbing when it comes to dental surgery. I’d rather not endure a root canal without novocaine. But numbing as a life strategy is not a way to live well.

We can numb out through overeating, consuming alcohol or other substances, mindless scrolling on our smartphones, or binge-watching shows that don’t mean much to us. Whenever we find ourselves killing time, we are probably numbing.

Counterfeit rest usually looks like some form of escape or avoidance or numbing, whereas true rest will usually look more like staying put, feeling our feelings, or engaging our lives. True rest enables us to stop. Counterfeit rest has a way of keeping us going and going and going.

As an author with a somewhat public ministry, I have to confess to a form of escaping or avoiding that might be a unique occupational hazard for me. I call it “checking.” I find myself checking the current Amazon sales rank for each of my books. Are they doing well today? Well, then I feel good about myself. Is their sales ranking falling? Then I don’t feel so good. But checking is a way of distracting myself from what actually lies before me in either my work or my rest.

Or I find myself checking how many downloads my latest podcast episode has, or how many new subscribers we have to our weekly email. Again, it’s a way of avoiding the good work or the gift of rest that lies before me, and in the end, it doesn’t mean much. Many of us do something similar with our various social media feeds. How many people have liked that last post I made? Do I have more subscribers this week than last? Has anyone shared that content?

Another way many of us avoid or escape from our lives is through video games. In the 1970s, I was a Pong kid. Our family got one of those early Atari consoles for playing Home Pong. Manipulating a line of light to hit a ball of light was slightly less impressive than the graphics of today’s video games. Well, a little more than slightly.

We also bought a pinball machine that we set up in our family room. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent trying to master that thing.

And as a junior higher, I once spent an unimaginable number of quarters from my paper route earnings to become the high scorer on a Pac-Man game at the racquetball courts where our family had a membership.

So my habit of escaping into video games has a long history. I’m not anti-gaming, by the way. It was a fun way to connect with my three sons as they grew up, and it still is today. There are ways of gaming that are fun and challenging, and there are ways of gaming that are an escape from our lives and our tiredness.

You’ll know the difference by how you feel when you’re done with a session. Do you feel invigorated or drained? Do you feel energized or numbed?

As you think of your own experience these days, where are you finding true rest? How are you experiencing refreshment, renewal, or refilling? Or in what ways do you find yourself avoiding, escaping, or numbing?

I invite you to take a moment to talk with God soon about your habits of rest. Ask the Spirit to help you discern how he might be inviting you into places of deeper and truer rest. Ask how the Spirit might be encouraging you to resist those false promises of rest that are more draining than refreshing. I hope you’ll make a little time for a fruitful moment like this.

For Reflection:

• Where are you experiencing refreshment, renewal, or refilling these days? Where are you experiencing something more draining or dulling?

Image by Lukas from Pixabay