3 Reasons We Don't Rest Well

Blog by Alan Fadling

My first book, An Unhurried Life, which had its tenth anniversary last year, has the subtitle “Following Jesus' Rhythms of Work and Rest.” Knowing our great cultural struggle to rest well in the current season, I might have suggested transposing the order of two words: “Following Jesus’ Rhythms of Rest and Work.” It’s not that rest is more important than work. It’s that real rest is so neglected these days.

Many of us are perhaps feeling our need for real rest more today than ever before. Getting better sleep, setting aside a day each week not to measure productivity or accomplishment, even guarding some weeks each year to rest deeply—these are things most of us still struggle to do.

I’d like to propose seven reasons we don’t rest well. I’ve struggled with each of these when entering into the gift of rest that God has always been offering me. Some of these may ring true for you as well. I hope naming them will help you move through these resistances, misbeliefs, and challenges to a place of deeper rest with God for both body and soul.

Each of these seven reasons represents a misunderstanding about work and rest, a misbelief about myself and God, or a challenge that confronts me, creating resistance to real rest.

Reason #1: We have a distorted image of God.

We may discover that our gut image of God is of a God who only gives us work. Especially when it comes to engaging with the important work of God’s kingdom, we might imagine that our only faithful way forward is to work until we drop. There was a saying that leaders I looked up to were fond of proclaiming: “I’d rather burn out than rust out for God.” It sounded quite noble and profoundly virtuous.

But these days I find myself asking, Are those really the only two options available to us? Are my only choices to waste my life by rusting out or to destroy my life by burning out? Was this the way Jesus lived in his three and a half years of ministry?

Even as we learn to work hard in the gracious guidance and profound empowering of God’s grace, we would do well to remember Psalm 23 where David reminds us, “The Lord is my shepherd.” My shepherd and your shepherd.

In that psalm, David describes God as a shepherd who makes us lie down in green pastures, who leads us beside quiet waters, and who refreshes our souls. Can you hear God’s concern for our souls--for our refreshment and rest? Why doesn’t this vision of God do more to shape how we understand what it looks like to be a part of God’s work in the world?

We would learn to rest well if our image of God was seasoned by this Psalm 23 language. We would rest better if we remembered that Jesus once said to his busy and harried disciples, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31).

Reason #2: We are overtired.

That may sound a little ridiculous to some of us. When you’re really tired, what else can you do but rest? But I’ve sometimes found that I am too tired to rest well. Entering into rest requires at least some intentionality and effort. When I’m overspent, overwhelmed, and overtired, I don’t have energy for even a small amount of effort.

The writer of Hebrews says there is “a Sabbath-rest for the people of God” (4:9) and urges us to “make every effort to enter that rest “(4:11). “That rest” we are invited into is God’s own rest (4:10).

When I’m exhausted, it seems easier to just escape into a series of YouTube videos or to binge-watch a show for hours. To do what would actually refresh, renew or restore us takes some time and effort. We might give ourselves a chance to slow down enough inside to read a good book. We might go outside and watch for the creative care of God around us. We might turn off our devices and settle into a good conversation with a friend. Good rest requires effort, and when we’re overtired, the effort can feel like too much for us.

Reason #3: We mistake numbing for resting.

The ways we use food, the internet, our devices, the television, or any number of other substances or experiences to escape our weariness are not the same as resting well. When we’re numb, we may not feel tired, but that’s not the same as finding rest. In fact, when whatever we do to numb finally wears off (as all numbing behaviors do), we usually feel even more tired.

It's never been easier to waste time on empty activities. We can turn on any one of the many streaming services available today, and the autoplay function will keep us occupied indefinitely. We can open YouTube or Facebook, and again, autoplay will provide us with video clips that the platform’s algorithm predicts we’ll find intriguing.

But when we come to the end of these mindless moments of escape, we need to ask ourselves whether we feel refreshed, renewed, restored, or reenergized. Those four words describe what happens when we actually rest well.

In two weeks, I’ll share four more reasons we struggle to rest well.

For Reflection:

• Does one of these reasons sound especially familiar to you? Why don’t you set aside a little time in the next day or two and talk with God about it. Ask God how he would like to shepherd you to places of rest and refreshment in your life.